Filing a Chargeback

Filing a chargeback with my credit card company turned out to be a much more affordable option than launching a lawsuit.  I wanted to file a lawsuit very much in the beginning because the idea of proving myself in court was just so satisfying.  But as I've mentioned previously, Israeli small claims court charges $1000 to file suit, and as my lawyer informed me, when you sue for court costs, even if you win, you are unlikely to get back your actual outlay of cash.   This is why I decided to go with the chargeback option.  Chargebacks are a more powerful weapon than I initially realised, and I think they are probably the safest route and most likely to shake down in your favour if you have been scammed the way I was.  In a chargeback dispute, your credit card company fights on your behalf to get your money back.  In my case, I used VISA through PayPal.  This means that VISA fights to get my money back while PayPal tries to protect Isadore.  As I write this, I do not know what the outcome will be, but I do feel I have chosen wisely and with lots of information on my side to help me make the best decision.  (Losing a chargeback dispute does not, by the way, prevent you from going to court afterward, which may be my next step if this doesn't go in my favour.)

I'm recommending chargebacks - for a number of reasons - to anyone who has had a transaction go wrong with Isadore.  Here's why:

1.  Chargeback is free to the purchaser.  If you paid using your credit card (even through PayPal or another company), your credit card company can launch a chargeback dispute on behalf, and it does not cost you anything but time.  A dispute can take awhile to resolve - but it's worth it!  My hair piece cost over $4000.  I'm willing to wait to have that resolved.

2.  Chargebacks have a cost to the vendor.  I'm not certain exactly what it costs because each credit card company charges differently, but the merchant must pay fees when a chargeback dispute is launched.  This is a good deterrant and should, in theory, encourage the vendor to settle a dispute fairly rather than fighting it when they know they are in the wrong.  In Isadore's case, she did not have a reason not to refund my money.

3.  Chargebacks hurt the vendor's credit rating .  Like point #2, there is a cost to the vendor in terms of their credit rating.  Again, this should deter the vendor from being reckless, although I am not sure this has worked in Isadore's case!  My research into Isadore's business leads me to believe she has lost a large number of chargeback cases, which can eventually lead to receiving hefty fines, an deven having her credit card privileges revoked.  This would be very damaging to a business.


There are some documents you will need in order to win your chargeback dispute, and for that reason I recommend saving EVERY email and every related document you receive from the start of your inquiries about purchasing until you receive the product and are positive you are happy with it.  From what I have read, it looks like most credit card companies will give you from 90 to 120 days from when you receive your product to file a chargeback.

My credit card company officially filed my chargeback case on January 28th.  This was after a few weeks of back and forth with their disputes specialists, asking Isadore to send a courier to pick up the hair and waiting 15 days, gathering up my documents, writing my statement, and sending it all in for the credit card company to look at.  On January 28th, the bank notified PayPal that they were filing a dispute on my behalf, and I received an email from PayPal to inform me they were aware of the chargeback.  When I log into my PayPal account,  I now see this:

Isadore has ten days to respond to my claim.  If she does not respond in that time, I automatically win.  (This probably won't happen.  I anticipate she will fight.)  Once her response is filed, PayPal reserves 30 days to review the documents and make their decision.   Wish me luck!


There is a lot of useful and interesting information about chargebacks here:  http://chargebacktech.eu/what-is-a-chargeback/

Before this situation happened to me, I didn't know anything about chargebacks.  It is valuable to know about this process when you have been scammed as it may be the best - or only - recourse.

Lessons Learned from Isadore the Oracle

Now we wait.  In the meantime, let's talk about what I have learned from this experience:

1.  Save every document.
Save every single document long past the time you think might need them.  Things like receipts, letters, journal entries, emails, and so forth may be very helpful to you in proving your case down the road.  I nearly threw away several things that ended up being of great importance.  There were a few points where I thought my situation was resolved or over and was tempted to throw away the emails and the paper documents.  I'm so glad I didn't!  Without them I would not have been able to file my dispute.

2.  Take pictures of everything.
Seriously, photograph everything that may be relevant later.  If something is damaged when you get it, take a picture.  If you send a package, photograph the package before you mail it.  If you are unhappy with a product, take a picture of what's wrong with it.  So on and so on.  Pictures are proof.  I really wish I had photographed the wig Isadore lent me when it arrived, and when I mailed it back, so that I could conclusively prove that I did not damage it and that she was making that up to derail my attempts at getting a refund.

3.  Tell the truth.
When filing a dispute, tell the truth.  Do NOT try to falsify documents to strengthen your case.  Go with what you have, the real stuff.  I was worried about my 3rd Party Letter because it contained some grammatical and spelling errors that I thought might harm the writer's credibility.  I wanted to rewrite the letter for her!  But I didn't.  The truth has to be good enough to make your case.  They will be looking into all your documents in detail and you need the truth on your side to win your case.  Your evidence may not be perfect; go with what you have.

4.  Don't get mad.  Keep it professional.
Don't get mad is pretty simplistic.  Rather, don't indulge in writing angry emails or making angry phone calls.  It's infuriating dealing with something like this.  I was so angry and frustrated that I lost a lot of sleep as I fought with Isadore in my dreams.  But I never got mad at her via email.  I kept my emails straightforward and free from emotion.  Don't let anyone anger you to the point that you lose
control and write rude emails; these will undoubtedly come back to haunt you because someone else will certainly save them!  I have read all kinds of emails from Isadore online that her customers have posted.  In them, Isadore insults and belittles her clients.  In my opinion, this really hurts her credibility and probably her business.  Don't fall into that trap no matter how angry you are, and no matter what is said to you.  Don't let things get personal.

5.  Don't overshare.
I overshared a few times in the times while I was waiting for things to happen (mostly during my long periods of waiting for the first lawyer to get back to me).  My frustration led me to seek feedback elsewhere, and that meant I posted things I should have kept to myself.  I posted some things about my frustration on wigsupport.com, because I wanted to vent, and I wanted someone to empathize with me. It felt good at the time but it wasn't a good idea because it gave Isadore fuel to make threats about filing a defamation suit.  And this, in turn, made me nervous.  To be clear, telling the truth is a perfectly valid defense to a claim of defamation, but one must be careful to walk that line precisely.  Stating what a vendor said and did is permissable, but it is important to stick to the facts.

6.  Don't wait.
I ended up being incredibly lucky that I was able to file a dispute within VISA's time window.  I cut it way too close for comfort.  If you need to file a chargeback dispute, it needs to happen within a specified timeline, and waiting can mean the difference between getting your money back and finding out you are just out of time.  Don't dally.  Call your credit card immediately when you have a problem.  Most credit card companies give you between 90 and 120 days to file a chargeback after receiving your item.

7.  Check the reviews.  Then check them again.
I screwed up here.  I read Isadore's reviews the first time I purchased with her, and if never checked again.  Just because a company had good reviews in 2010 does NOT mean they still do.  If I had checked Isadore's reviews before making my last purchase I would have known there was potential for problems.

And on the subject of reviews, don't be naive and fail to recognize that vendors can, and many do, write fake positive reviews of their own companies.  In gathering the reviews I collected for this project, I came across a number of positive reviews for Featherlite Wigs that made use of the phrase, "Do yourself a favour and buy a Featherlite!"  Another phrase that appeared several times was, "Don't be surprised if you buy two!"  I have no idea if Isadore wrote these reviews, but I posit that the same person wrote several positive reviews and posted them multiple places.
(In the HerAlopecia archives I also discovered another treasure: Of Isadore, "she is, without a doubt,  the oracle of all things having to do with hair replacement!" Isadore the Oracle

Again, I do not know that it was Isadore herself who wrote this delightful sentence but I would like to thank "spiderwoman", whoever she may be, for giving me the best laugh so far while gathering information.)

8.  Remember that your vendor is out there.
When I posted my problem with Featherlite on wigsupport.com, I was startled by the vehemently angry response I received from a woman calling herself "Tess".  "Tess" accused me of lying about my bad experience with Featherlite (to what end?) and suggested that I never contacted Isadore with my concerns.  A quick perusal of "Tess'" posting history showed that most of her posts on the site were positive reviews of Featherlite, making it clear that "Tess" was probably Isadore herself.  Of course Isadore has every right to be a member of whatever Internet community she wishes, but I was initially startled to find her posting there.  It is important to remember that vendors do join discussion pages to find out what their customers are saying, and also, in some cases, to post positive reviews of their own products.  Don't post anything online that you don't want your vendor to see.  She's definitely out there.  In my case, it was a good thing that "Tess" berated me because if she had kept quiet, I might have (naively) shared my information in that forum about how I was planning to proceed, giving Isadore more information than I would have wanted her to have.

My Featherlite Nightmare (part 4 - Lawyers and Credit Cards)

I decided not to use the lawyer who wanted $500 to write a warning letter.  It wasn't his cost (although I found out afterward that he was overcharging).  It was his poor communication.  He took my information, and then took a long time to respond.  I would write again, and he would respond immediately, promising to get a letter written in the next few days.  Then he would fall off the map again.  I decided to move on.  Quickly.  (Don't call me a slow learner.)

I found a new lawyer.  In retrospect, I'm not sure this step was particularly useful or effective, but I wanted to be ready to go to court if I had to.  The new lawyer wanted $200 for the same warning letter that the other lawyer said was $500.  And this lawyer was quick and responsive too.  I went ahead and had him send Isadore a warning letter.  The letter said that she had until January 20 to settle (by refunding the cost of the topper) or we would take her to court for the cost of the topper plus all court costs.

Isadore phoned the lawyer the next day and told him the hair was not synthetic.  She said that she was considering suing me for defamation because of what I had written about her wigsupport.com.  I asked the lawyer's advice.  He said that while he thought the case could be won he was not confident the financial winnings would actually cover the court costs.  Apparently (new information to me) when you win court costs, that doesn't necessarily mean the actual costs.  It means whatever the judge decides it's worth, and that can be a lot less than actual costs.  This concerned me somewhat.  While I really wanted to beat Isadore in court, I also didn't want to lose any more money on this awful situation.

I pondered and decided to pursue it through my credit card company first.

I contacted the disputes centre at RBC and was pleasantly surprised by their proficiency in handling my case.  I spoke with a very helpful woman named Michelle, who gave me her personal email (contrary, she said, to standard operating procedures) because she wanted to handle the case herself and make sure everything was processed in a timely manner.  The time window was closing soon and I had to get my documents together quickly.

Having read other stories of Isadore online, I knew that the credit card company was going to ask me to try and return the topper.  I also knew from reading these accounts that Isadore was likely to refuse to accept the return, and send it back, costing both time and money for the cost of shipping all the way to Israel.  I was again pleasantly surprised when RBC proposed a different idea.  Email her, they told me, with a request that she have a courier come and pick it up.  I did this on January 4th.  I expected Isadore to ignore me, but instead she wrote me a pleasant-toned email offering to have the topper coloured for me rather than refunding my money.  In fact, she made laugh by signing off with "warm regards".  I asked her to have the courier to get it again.  No response.  This was good enough for the bank.

Fifteen days later (January 18th) it was time to start the process.  I sent Michelle at RBC a whole bunch of documents:
- screenshot of my emails to Isadore telling her I found out the piece was synthetic and wanted a refund
- screenshots of Isadore's website where she claimed all her hair was "virgin European"
- screenshots of comparable synthetic hair pieces and their prices
- photos of the receipt refunding my money when I tried to have the hair coloured and could not
- photos of the 3rd party letter stating that she believed the piece was not "virgin European hair"
- screenshots of my request to Isadore that she send a courier to pick up the topper
- screenshots of expert information (found online) in which a wig maker explained why synthetic hair cannot be coloured with dye meant for human hair
- screenshots of Isadore's online interview with Chavi (askChavi.com) in which she explained why virgin hair was so special, desirable, and expensive

(I sent this letter asking Isadore to pick up the topper.  This was suggested by my bank as an alternative to trying to send it back to her myself.  Bingo!  No cost, no risk, and of course she refused to do it.)


This took a bit of emailing back and forth, but Michelle was a genius and within two days she had it all together to officially file the dispute.  Funnily enough (and totally coincidentally) this timeline coincided with the date my lawyer had given Isadore as a deadline to settle.  The same day the dispute was ready to go, I received an email from the lawyer, who I had almost forgotten about.  The letter was a forward of a letter he had received from Isadore, and the letter was hilarious.

Isadore was threatening my lawyer!  In it she said that he had until the 20th of January to withdraw his letter, or she, herself, would also talk to a lawyer.  (I'm sure that had him trembling in fear.)



She also disclosed my darkest secret, that I am Canadian.  "Are you aware that she lives in Canada?  Is it her serious intent to come to Israel to appear in court?" wrote Isadore.  And this question, in my opinion, demonstrates the reason for Isadore's behaviour.  She doesn't understand that she can be sued with a representative appearing on my behalf.  She thinks that living in Israel prevents her from being sued by people who live overseas.  In this letter, Isadore also told my lawyer, "Are you aware that [she] returned to me a wig that I lent her in severely damaged condition?" (sic).  I should have known that Isadore would claim I damaged her wig, and like a dolt I did not take pictures of it.  I did send myself an email on the day I received it noting a small hole in the cap and a loose clip, but it definitely an oversight not to photograph them.  Isadore told my lawyer I was attempting to "extort money from someone who did no harm".  The fact that I had several successful past purchases with Isadore did not seem to prove that I made the purchase because I wanted the product - as advertised! - and not because I was plotting to extort (my own) money.

I told the lawyer I was pursuing the case through my credit card company and would be in touch if I required his services afterward, pending the outcome of the dispute.

This is where the situation now lies.  I do not know how long it will take RBC to complete this process, or whether I will or will not win my dispute.  I won't post this story until I have an outcome as I do not want to jeopardize my case by giving away too much information in case Isadore is reading.  More to come.

My Featherlite Nightmare (part 3 - VISA and 3rd Party Letters)

I called my bank to tell them what had happened, and was surprised by the response.  Apparently I had three months to file an "Item Significantly Not As Described" dispute.  If I could gather up some documents to prove my case, they could file a dispute on my behalf.  All I needed was:


--   A statement of my reason for wanting a refund.
--   Proof of what I ordered (i.e. screen shots of Isadore's website stating she sells "virgin European hair".
--    A "third party letter" from an industry expert testifying that what I had received was not virgin European hair.




I figured this was going to be easy.  I called the company that had tried to dye the hair and made my request.  No dice.  I was told that they had a strict policy against commenting (in writing) on any other company's products.  Why? I asked.  Because they don't want to open themselves up to lawsuits.  (It is for this reason that I do NOT endorse this company, in spite of the fact they are otherwise a reputable company.  While I understand they are worried about being sued, I want my money to go to a company that is ethical enough to stand up for what is right in this industry where so many people are getting scammed.  I don't name this company here because I have no ill will - but certainly haven't - and won't -  go back to them with any more of my hair dollars.)

This was annoying.  I figured I'd hit a snag but not a big deal.  I'd just find someone else to do it.  I emailed a few other experts in the industry.  Again, I won't name them since they aren't dishonest people.  But they're cowards.  Apparently the industry is overwrought with fear of lawsuits because I spoke with literally a half dozen people who refused to even look at the topper (and had another half dozen emails out there that just went unanswered).  I was beginning to despair of finding a third party who was willing to help me.


Then, on Christmas Eve, my daughter went to see her stylist/colourist about getting her roots bleached.  I tossed the topper in a paper bag and asked her to show it to her while she was there.  This was a last ditch, Hail Mary kind of thing.  I didn't expect her to help.


But she did.  While my daughter's hair was processing, she took my topper and tried to do a strand test on it.  Lo and behold, the colour washed off, just like it had for the other colourist.  And this stylist took a stand.  She was willing to write the letter!  Amen, hallelujah!  (I remove her information here to protect her privacy.  But I recommend her to everyone in my city.)

My Featherlite Nightmare (part 2 - The Discovery)

On October 29th, when the topper finally arrived, I heaved a huge sigh of relief because I thought the worry was finally over.  I admit I patted myself on the back a little bit, thinking I had weathered the storm quite well.  I was pleased that I had managed to navigate the choppy waters with only minor friction with Isadore, without losing my money, and with product finally, FINALLY in hand.  I was very wrong to be pleased at this point because my troubles were not over at all and in fact, I would have been in much better shape at this point if I had simply filed the chargeback.


The first thing I noticed was the colour was wrong.  I had specifically asked for light ashy brown (with photographs).  This hair was very red.  The new topper did not have a Featherlite tag in it the way the others did.  Maybe this wasn't a big deal, but it struck me as strange.  I also noticed that the "stretch" part of the topper was quite a bit smaller than I was used to seeing with Isadore's previous pieces.  The silk top was not the soft silk top I was used to either; it was stiff and starchy.  And the rim?  For those who wear hair, you know the rim is so important!  What I had always loved about Isadore's pieces was the way the rim blended so nicely.  This time the rim was a sharp, bright white strip of starchy fabric that was as obvious as a neon traffic cone.


All of this was surprising and disappointing, but the strangest part was the "lace front".  The lace front wasn't lace.  It was a stiff mesh, very scratchy and very coarse.  And the worst part?  It didn't have any hair ventilated into it!  So the lace front I had been excited about was actually just a chunk of stiff mesh that jutted out from the rim of the topper, without any hair!  For those who wear wigs and toppers, you know that this is absurd.  I was really sad.  I had finally received the piece and it was unwearable.

(This is the picture that Isadore sent me, which proves she is a better photographer than she is a wigmaker because the picture looks pretty good!  The hair doesn't look nearly as red as it is, although you can see that the "lace front" sticks straight out rather than lying flat against the forehead.)

I wracked my brain for solutions.  After all, I couldn't just let this kind of money go down the drain.  There was no way I was sending this piece back to Isadore at this point, having waited so long to get it, so I decided to find my own solution, at my own expense.  I called a company that specializes in wig making, and colouring.  I explained what I had and what I wanted, and they made an appointment for to come in for a consultation.


At the consultation appointment, I was greatly relieved.  The wig maker told me she could ventilate the strange meshy front and that would cover the gleaming white rim.  Yes!  She also told me she could colour the hair to take down the red and make it more ashy.  Of course all this was going to cost me, but I was willing to pay.  I just wanted to be able to wear this expensive piece!  I left a deposit on the work to be done, and made an appointment to pick it up a week later.


Four days later I received a phone call from the owner of the business.  The ventilation had gone well but there was a problem with the colour process.  What problem?  Well, she said, the hair won't take any colour.  I asked what she meant.  She said that the colour specialist had tried and tried to colour the hair, and it wouldn't take.  The dye just washed right off the hair every time.


What??

I went in to pick it up.  She explained to me that the piece simply could not be made from human hair because it wouldn't take any colour.  She said it was probably synthetic.  She refunded my money, and didn't even charge me for the ventilation.  I think she felt sorry for me.


I was upset.  In fact I was furious.  I emailed Isadore.  No response.  I emailed her again.  No response.  A third time.  No answer.


I posted my problem on wigsupport.com.  Lots of kind women there empathized... except for one.:  "Tess".  "Tess" posted that Isadore makes the most beautiful wigs she has ever seen and that I was probably lying about having contacted Isadore.  Shortly after she posted an alleged email thread between herself and Isadore, in which Isadore claimed she knew which customer had a problem, and stated that I had never contacted her.  Why "Tess" took such great interest in, and personal affront to my dispute with Isadore was obvious.  Looking back at "Tess'" posts on wigsupport showed that she was there to sell Featherlite.

I contacted Isadore via email again, and magically, this time, she responded.  She responded that I had not contacted her earlier and she wanted to see my earlier emails (which were at the end of the new one).  She called me "silly" and accused me of manufacturing fake emails in MS Word.  I told her that if she hadn't received my earlier emails, she could consider this one the first official one making my concern known and asking what she planned to do to fix the situation.  She denied that anything was wrong with the piece and told me to stop writing to her until I planned to "come clean", whatever that means.

"…sometimes when we are scared it's easy to make sily decisions…"

(I find this email particularly hilarious because of the way she insults me and calls me ridiculous, then signs off with "Best".)

At this point I contacted a lawyer.  He said he could help.  He told me he would start by writing a warning letter to Isadore, and thought that the letter would probably result in her giving back my money.  He wanted $500 for this service.

I contacted my bank as well, thinking it was probably hopeless that they could help me, but at least wanting to report the scam if nothing else.

It turned out that the bank could also help.

My Featherlite Nightmare (part 1 - The Year of Waiting)

This is my own story, the one that inspired me to gather up all these reviews and put them in one place where I hope other people will be able to find them when they are trying to decide where to spend their "hair dollars".

When I first purchased through Isadore Hoffman, Featherlite was located in Toronto, Canada, and she had excellent reviews.  I couldn't find a bad one!  This was probably around 2011.  I was extremely happy with my purchase (a topper), and although it was expensive, I thought I had received a good value for my money because I finally had something I wanted to wear.  A year later I ordered a second topper, and loved that one too.  At first I was reluctant to colour these toppers because they were "virgin hair" and I didn't want to mess with that.  But eventually I decided to highlight one of them, and it came out very nicely.  I was happy, and I think I added some positive reviews to the internet body of information about Featherlite, which was all pretty positive.

In November of 2014, I decided to order another two toppers of two different lengths.  I wanted another shorter one, like the others, and I wanted a longer one.  I paid $1800USD for the shorter one and $3788USD for the longer one (20 inches).  The shorter one was in stock, but the longer one had to be a custom order.  I was a bit surprised by how long it took Isadore to mail the stock piece (a couple of weeks).  This seemed strange, but it showed up and it was like the others, so I wasn't worried about the custom piece.

My mistake here, I think, was that it did not occur to me to check Isadore's recent reviews before placing this order.  Having dealt with her in the past, and having been very happy with her product, it did not cross my mind to think that things might have changed.  I assumed I would be getting the same product as I had in the past.

Isadore told me the custom topper would take sixteen weeks.  As it was the end of November, I assumed I'd be seeing the piece around the end of March, giving her a bit of wiggle room.  Mid-March I sent her an email asking her about a particular cut I was hoping she could do on the piece, because I was expecting it soon.  Her response was:
You don't need to worry.  I think it will still be a while longer. (sic)

This was when I began to worry.  Something about the unsolicited advice not to worry (when I wasn't worried) made me worry!  I asked her again at the end of April when I could expect the piece.  This time she responded that she would ask the factory and get back to me.  She did not get back to me.

In May I emailed again asking if she had heard from the factory.  Her response:
Yes, they are still working on it.  I try not to rush them in general but will let them know you are waiting.

My next contact was mid-June.  I asked again and said I was really hoping to have the piece before August.  Isadore replied:
I actually think it's coming at the end of August.  Do you want me to ask?

By this point I was getting quite concerned.  Do you want me to ask??  Isadore's lackadaisical attitude about the whole thing was starting to alarm me.  By this point the piece was three months later than promised and I was starting to worry that I had spent all this money on nothing.  This was when I finally realised I should probably check her online reviews and see if something was going on.  When I found what I found, I felt sick.  There were several other reviews online now that talked about the same experience I was having.  I was scared.  One woman had posted several of the emails between herself and Isadore, in which Isadore was rude and abusive, calling her stupid.

What I learned from these reviews was a very important piece of information.  According to these reviewers, they were able to get their money back when their wigs did not show up by filing for a chargeback through their credit card companies.  I wondered if I should do that too… but I still really wanted the topper!  Of course I wanted it.  I had ordered it, and shelled out big money for it, because I wanted it.  These women posted that there was a limited window of time in which credit card companies could file a chargeback, so I resolved to get my hair or get my money back within that time frame.

I wrote Isadore again in mid-June and told her I had an event at the beginning of August, and needed the topper by then.  At this point I was ready to file a chargeback if she didn't get it to me by the beginning of August.  (I did not actually have an event, but I wanted a firm deadline I could give her.)  In the first week of July, Isadore wrote me with a surprising offer.  She asked if I wanted to borrow a wig of hers for the event.

This took my anxiety down significantly.  I thought that if she was willing to send me something for the interim, it certainly meant she was sincere about getting my topper to me eventually.  I gratefully accepted this offer and waited.  Isadore said she would send me a tracking number, which she never did.  I asked her for the tracking number three times, and she never sent it.  But the wig did eventually arrive, and I was mollified for the time being.  I figured I had a piece just as nice as the one I'd ordered, so I would just hang onto it until mine arrived.  The wig was the wrong colour for me to wear it (the same colour the topper ended up being!) but I was glad to have it anyway as I felt it provided me with some leverage.

On September 22nd, frustrated, I finally wrote to Isadore again, asking her what was going on.  I was extremely careful with my wording (knowing that she could become angry and verbally abusive) but I told her that the factory was really "dropping the ball" by taking so long.  And I told her what my credit card company had told me, which was that if I didn't have it by November 3rd, I needed to file a chargeback or it would be too late.  Well, that set her off.  She said I was being "impatient" (haha) and that the factory was operating just fine.  She also told me to send back her wig immediately.

The next day I told Isadore very calmly that if she needed me to send the wig back, I would be filing a chargeback immediately as I would need the money to order something new.  She responded very quickly with an apology and said that I could keep the wig until my topper was ready, and "wear it in good health".  She said she felt terrible for keeping me waiting so long and needed me to be patient just a little while longer.  This was the first time Isadore apologized for ANY of this situation.  If she had apologized any of the other times I had written to her, I think it would have gone a long way to make me feel better and less worried - but since this apology followed a written temper tantrum, it really only served to worry me further about who and what I was dealing with.

(This apology really made me reflect on the value of apologies in general, how much they can help soothe bad feelings in difficult situations.  I thought about the number of times I asked Isadore about the lateness of my order and how many times she passed up the opportunity to make me feel better about it by simply apologizing.  If she had ever taken any responsibility for the problem I think I would have responded very differently when things went array.  This was one of those Note To Self moments I like to seize upon when I can extract a life lesson from a bad situation.)

A week later Isadore wrote to tell me that the factory told her my topper would be sent to her on October 12.  On October 18 she wrote to tell me she had the topper.  She assured me it was perfect, and said the factory had made two - just in case I loved the first one so much I wanted a second.

Then things got sticky again.  Isadore said I needed to mail her wig back to her before she would send me the topper.

I was worried about this because it would, again, require me to take a leap of faith for someone in whom I now I had no faith!  I asked her if I could keep it until the other one arrived.  I offered to put a "deposit" in escrow as a show of good faith… Nada.  She refused to send it until I mailed back her wig and gave her the tracking number.  So, left with no choice, I did it.  I sent her the tracking number, and she mailed the topper.  In a burst of pure genius comedic timing, Isadore wrote:  "We've worked together so many times before.  I just don't understand why you are so worried all of a sudden."

Mailing back the wig was a strange experience.  She asked me write on the customs forms that it was a "costume wig" valued at 12$.  I followed her instructions with trepidation.

My topper arrived on October 29th, 2015, just over eleven months after I ordered it, and thus begun the next chapter of trouble.