Lessons Learned from Isadore the Oracle

Now we wait.  In the meantime, let's talk about what I have learned from this experience:

1.  Save every document.
Save every single document long past the time you think might need them.  Things like receipts, letters, journal entries, emails, and so forth may be very helpful to you in proving your case down the road.  I nearly threw away several things that ended up being of great importance.  There were a few points where I thought my situation was resolved or over and was tempted to throw away the emails and the paper documents.  I'm so glad I didn't!  Without them I would not have been able to file my dispute.

2.  Take pictures of everything.
Seriously, photograph everything that may be relevant later.  If something is damaged when you get it, take a picture.  If you send a package, photograph the package before you mail it.  If you are unhappy with a product, take a picture of what's wrong with it.  So on and so on.  Pictures are proof.  I really wish I had photographed the wig Isadore lent me when it arrived, and when I mailed it back, so that I could conclusively prove that I did not damage it and that she was making that up to derail my attempts at getting a refund.

3.  Tell the truth.
When filing a dispute, tell the truth.  Do NOT try to falsify documents to strengthen your case.  Go with what you have, the real stuff.  I was worried about my 3rd Party Letter because it contained some grammatical and spelling errors that I thought might harm the writer's credibility.  I wanted to rewrite the letter for her!  But I didn't.  The truth has to be good enough to make your case.  They will be looking into all your documents in detail and you need the truth on your side to win your case.  Your evidence may not be perfect; go with what you have.

4.  Don't get mad.  Keep it professional.
Don't get mad is pretty simplistic.  Rather, don't indulge in writing angry emails or making angry phone calls.  It's infuriating dealing with something like this.  I was so angry and frustrated that I lost a lot of sleep as I fought with Isadore in my dreams.  But I never got mad at her via email.  I kept my emails straightforward and free from emotion.  Don't let anyone anger you to the point that you lose
control and write rude emails; these will undoubtedly come back to haunt you because someone else will certainly save them!  I have read all kinds of emails from Isadore online that her customers have posted.  In them, Isadore insults and belittles her clients.  In my opinion, this really hurts her credibility and probably her business.  Don't fall into that trap no matter how angry you are, and no matter what is said to you.  Don't let things get personal.

5.  Don't overshare.
I overshared a few times in the times while I was waiting for things to happen (mostly during my long periods of waiting for the first lawyer to get back to me).  My frustration led me to seek feedback elsewhere, and that meant I posted things I should have kept to myself.  I posted some things about my frustration on wigsupport.com, because I wanted to vent, and I wanted someone to empathize with me. It felt good at the time but it wasn't a good idea because it gave Isadore fuel to make threats about filing a defamation suit.  And this, in turn, made me nervous.  To be clear, telling the truth is a perfectly valid defense to a claim of defamation, but one must be careful to walk that line precisely.  Stating what a vendor said and did is permissable, but it is important to stick to the facts.

6.  Don't wait.
I ended up being incredibly lucky that I was able to file a dispute within VISA's time window.  I cut it way too close for comfort.  If you need to file a chargeback dispute, it needs to happen within a specified timeline, and waiting can mean the difference between getting your money back and finding out you are just out of time.  Don't dally.  Call your credit card immediately when you have a problem.  Most credit card companies give you between 90 and 120 days to file a chargeback after receiving your item.

7.  Check the reviews.  Then check them again.
I screwed up here.  I read Isadore's reviews the first time I purchased with her, and if never checked again.  Just because a company had good reviews in 2010 does NOT mean they still do.  If I had checked Isadore's reviews before making my last purchase I would have known there was potential for problems.

And on the subject of reviews, don't be naive and fail to recognize that vendors can, and many do, write fake positive reviews of their own companies.  In gathering the reviews I collected for this project, I came across a number of positive reviews for Featherlite Wigs that made use of the phrase, "Do yourself a favour and buy a Featherlite!"  Another phrase that appeared several times was, "Don't be surprised if you buy two!"  I have no idea if Isadore wrote these reviews, but I posit that the same person wrote several positive reviews and posted them multiple places.
(In the HerAlopecia archives I also discovered another treasure: Of Isadore, "she is, without a doubt,  the oracle of all things having to do with hair replacement!" Isadore the Oracle

Again, I do not know that it was Isadore herself who wrote this delightful sentence but I would like to thank "spiderwoman", whoever she may be, for giving me the best laugh so far while gathering information.)

8.  Remember that your vendor is out there.
When I posted my problem with Featherlite on wigsupport.com, I was startled by the vehemently angry response I received from a woman calling herself "Tess".  "Tess" accused me of lying about my bad experience with Featherlite (to what end?) and suggested that I never contacted Isadore with my concerns.  A quick perusal of "Tess'" posting history showed that most of her posts on the site were positive reviews of Featherlite, making it clear that "Tess" was probably Isadore herself.  Of course Isadore has every right to be a member of whatever Internet community she wishes, but I was initially startled to find her posting there.  It is important to remember that vendors do join discussion pages to find out what their customers are saying, and also, in some cases, to post positive reviews of their own products.  Don't post anything online that you don't want your vendor to see.  She's definitely out there.  In my case, it was a good thing that "Tess" berated me because if she had kept quiet, I might have (naively) shared my information in that forum about how I was planning to proceed, giving Isadore more information than I would have wanted her to have.